chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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