He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
