it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
