ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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