I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
