Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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