I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
