I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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