i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
nutella sex= disaster
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
