I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
