He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
