he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
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