My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
