there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
