so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
