you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Fuck me I smell like cheese
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
