Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
