Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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