margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
