I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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