we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
