There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
