No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Randomize
