remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so let's talk penis.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
