Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
