It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
