She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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