what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
