I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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