So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
