Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
