margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
