Whod you bang
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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