Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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