Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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