the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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