I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
