I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
