it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
