Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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