guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
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