Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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