Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I need to calm my uterus...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
