areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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