did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Even my vagina gasped.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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