I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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