I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
