Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
