there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
