New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
