I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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